all too surreal

It’s 1:30am. And for someone who has endured several sleepless nights back in college/university and has suffered with insomnia a few years back - I just can’t seem to stay awake past midnight these days. Being able to sleep is actually a good thing, it’s just that I’ve been forcing myself to stay up late to finish this whole packing business. 

When I had mentioned to co-workers and friends that I’ll be moving this weekend, they shook their heads and said, “You’re moving during the Easter long weekend? Why are you doing that to yourself?” It’s true, especially since the weather has been unbelievably warm and absolutely amazing this week. It’s like Spring just slapped us in the face because I remember still freezing last week. And yes, after months of dreary rain, the sunshine is most definitely welcome in Raincouver. 

Still, I need to get this packing done by Monday. April Fool’s. It makes it seem like this might all be one big joke after all - but it’s not. Well, I sure hope to God, it’s not.

I still managed to take a break today though and headed out to soak in some sunshine and to meet up with Nicole (future roomie) and our new friend (and awesome illustrator), Sarah, at one of the coolest places in Vancouver - Le Marche St. George. We met up for crepes and coffee to discuss our upcoming 30-Day Challenges - which Sarah has done before and has inspired us to do for April. The goal is to do something creative (based on a theme) every day for 30 days. 

It’s kind of daunting and overwhelming to be starting a project like this during such a stressful and hectic period of moving out, but they were both keen on doing their projects this April and I figured it would be great to do it with them. I still have a day left to decide on some sort of a theme, but right now I’m leaning towards a simple (and perhaps boring?) theme of “Favourite Things.” I do want to start with something basic and something that would enable to think about positive things and express gratitude more in life. 

I will be documenting this project in a separate blog. I’ll be posting the link later on. 

Now back to packing up my life into these boxes. ZzzzZzZZZzzz.

We got the keys to the apartment today. There’s something significant about it - and I am both scared and excited. I feel very clueless, and yet somewhat brave at the same time. 

I’m feeling it again - how I’m once again spreading myself too thinly, wanting to do so many big things all at the same time. I’m such an idiotic dreamer like that, but I just can’t help it. I need to be able to get a grip on myself though and give myself a reality check. Sometimes it’s as if I’m drowning, gasping for air, trying to hold on to anything and everything I can to stay afloat, instead of just willing myself to actually swim to the surface.

There’s something which reminds me of a feeling - of about being so lost and just wanting to be found.